Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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