If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
