Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
