Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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