The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize