Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
