she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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