I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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