I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need a beard to bite.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize