you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
