Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
