I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
