dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
