never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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