i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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