I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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