You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
