That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
