She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
