Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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