the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
