I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
