Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
