these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
