the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
