One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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