I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
