Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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