I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
as a side note pls kill me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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