If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
