So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think my vagina is haunted
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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