It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
