She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
