why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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