My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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