Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
