god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
