is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
