I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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