Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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