Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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