i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
