couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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