Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
