The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
