Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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