Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
