ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
