If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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