i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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