There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need moral support for this bender
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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