try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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