loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
