Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
