take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
