you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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