it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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