Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
