how can u be prego again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
